Week 12 – Not my battleship

Since the very beginning, I’ve known what I had to do, I was just too scared. Scared to be a failure, scared of what others would think, scared of going broke – all decisions made from a place of fear and hanging on.

“What do I do?”

“Take it into your sit,” says my super patient guide with a knowing smile.

“What does that even mean? This sucks.”

I even tried to quit the course, but I’d come too far, I was conscious of the truth now and I couldn’t abandon the gal in the glass no matter what.

So I took it into my sit. Only this time, I imagined what my life would look like if I made it to the end of the path I was on. Like a great battleship, I imagined my life in all its glory. I pictured the clothes I was wearing, the people I was talking to, the car I was driving, the office I worked in, the smell of my coffee, the paperwork, the research, everything.

So, how did it feel?

Meh.

I liked my car and full bank account. I liked the people I was talking to. Life was good, but definitely not great.

It was not my life.

And then the last heavy piece of cement chipped off, the sky opened to reveal endless possibilities, and I took the first deep breath I had taken in years. It filled my lungs, my belly, my head and my heart. My spirit lifted like a great balloon.

Damn, I’m a SLOW learner!!

As Mark J. said, persistence doesn’t mean not quitting. Just sayin’

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