Week 15 – Even good change is hard

Well, I feel happy about the changes I’ve made, no doubt, but there are still moments of loss and floundering going on for me. This course is somewhat of an anchor as I make my way through to a new way of doing things. It is strange to let go of the mainstays that steadied me for so long: what other people think I should do, what “normal” people do, what “normal” people want, what I thought I wanted…The ground is shifting now and I have to look inside for what to hang on to, not outside. Traditionally, I’ve loved change, sought it even. I’ve uprooted and moved to the other side of the world more than once, but this feels different somehow. That was running away, no idea where to. This is the opposite. I’m forced to go very still, dig deep, let my roots grow. My old neuro-ditches are groaning with the change. But I’m too far along this journey and life is too short to turn around now. Whoopee!!